This past weekend, I was recovering from the holidays and preparing to do my routine de-cluttering adventure in my home. This is more important today then it was before kids. Before kids, it was just me. I was fairly organized and I only had my stuff to manage. BUT along comes a husband, a house, and children (not in that order) and you have a recipe for CRAZY.
As we have discussed before, our environment greatly impacts our mental and physical health. After having children, my anxiety levels rose about my house. We have MORE stuff. SO MUCH STUFF. Frankly, it is important to me NOT to spend all of my time cleaning up after their childhood, but truly being apart of this adventure I have been blessed with. Hence, the constant rollercoaster of emotions.
Anyways, the routine emotions of stress, anxiety, and maybe even a little depression started before and continued after the holidays. I knew I needed to clean up and re-organize. It is therapeutic for me. Not everyone’s cup of tea, which is why I am here. To make this process easier, so you too can enjoy a more organized life, one that is less stressful.
I started thinking. Organization is really like raising your children. It is. Bare with me on this.
About a month ago, I was at the lights at the Zoo. It was evening and cold. But my children were more than excited to look at all of the lights. They were magnificent. And me, well instead of being in the moment, I was looking at my children running around like crazy children, touching lights, and joyfully celebrating this blessing. I was in anxiety town. I was comparing myself to the other parents. It is amazing how we do this. Our brains see what we perceive. We fixate on something. I only saw the blissful parents strolling casually through the zoo with their lattes. Where were their children? Oh, they were ever so nicely resting in their strollers enjoying the lights.
So, me I felt like a failing parent. One that obviously was doing something wrong. Do you know what I missed out on? I missed out on a beautiful evening with my children. I was not present.
Now, how does this relate to Organization. It is simple my friends. I will outline this for you below.
It is a process
Yes, this is something you have likely heard over and over again. BUT organization is a process. It is not static, but ever changing. You have to determine how to organize your space for your current season of life. That will change. The kids will grow up and visit on weekends or during school breaks. Then eventually you will need to have a place for the grandkids. Our lives our not static. As we parent, the moment we feel like we have it under control. We mastered it. Your kids are no longer in diapers and now you have to think about the potty every store that you go in and you find yourself saying things like, There is no potty on trolly. You should try to go before we go. Yup, I parent via Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. So, you will need to continuously work toward creating an organized space that works with your season. Once you have the foundation though, it will not necessarily feel like much work, but a pivot.
It is not perfect
Life is not perfect. No human is. No space is. Nothing is. But we all keep trying to be the first person to conquer life and make it perfect. Now, I am normally a fairly positive person, but in this case I am a realist. Perfectionism is not real, but dang I will always find myself slipping into. GAH! Anyways. There is no perfect solution. Your home will NEVER be perfect. Clutter will creep up from time to time.
Just like parenting. It is not perfect. You will make mistakes. Heck you may fail. That is why we have therapists, so one day our children can talk to someone about all of the things we did not do right. But likely there is more that you will do well. More things that you will teach them to help them grow.
So, the goal is not perfect when organizing your home. My goal is to keep clutter to a minimum and to create a functional space that allows me more time with my family, more time in the moment.
There are books about it
There are many books and experts out there about both subjects. FACT. My children have not read the parenting books. Although, there is great information out there, ALL of it will not pertain to your child. Every child is different. Just like every house and every family. Pinterest and HGTV are my favorite little pleasures. I love the beautiful pictures. BUT the reality is that EACH of these techniques will not or have not worked in my home. That is okay.
It is costly
Well, yes, having children is costly. I mean you have to bath them, feed them, cloth them, etc. BUT for me the values I have for my children do not cost me extra money. They do not have the perfect rooms, clothes, or things. BUT they have all of the things they need and more. My children are blessed.
When I was young, the My Size Barbie was the THING! It was incredibly expensive. Likely we would have played with it for a month or so and then forgot about her.
Now, in my home, I could have all the things. All of the fancy HGTV perfect things. A piece of me would be happy. I do love décor. Like seriously love décor. I am the person that drools and uncontrollably is pulled toward the Hearth and Home Collection at Target. I have even nearly taken someone out being magically pulled to shiplap at Menards. Embarrassing…yes. I could try to work through it, but I will not.
I do not spend out of my means. It does not meet my values. I learn how to make it, save for it, or live without it. I am okay with not achieving HGTV perfection. I value function and kid friendly over perfection.
What is the point to my rant here?
Well, my friends, the point is that everyday brings us a new adventure and our lives our changing. Parenting is challenging and so is organizing. Neither can/nor should we do alone. As parents we will continue to adapt and grow with our children. We will make mistakes and we will never meet perfect. But we will continue to work hard and make an effort to be the best parents we can.
As an organizer, I am a problem solver. I can find an area that causes stress, anxiety, or needs to be more functional and I can help you solve the issue. I do it daily in my home. It is a process. I love the challenge. Organize for your family, your space, and your values. Not the values of someone else. Know that your value, your worth, is not dependent on your things. It is not.
Intentional Living Tip:
I encourage you to start working on one space at a time. Set a timer. Do not spend time wishing you had a bigger home, more money, or a designer to come do it for you. Do not go out in pursuit of perfection. Establish a Goal. Again, not perfection.
My main goal as a parent is to help develop strong individuals who are good people and love God. That is it. Well…sprinkle in having basic life skills like professionalism, knowing how to cook/clean, etc. All in the hope that they will thrive one day as a independent adults.
For my home, my goal is to create a function (yet beautiful) living space that allows my family to grow and be more in the moment. Togetherness and joy are my words for 2019!
What are your goals?
If you are ready to take a dive into establishing a more organized home, please private message me. I would love to add you to the community aiming to de-clutter their homes in 4 weeks. Challenge ends 1/31/19.
Also, join my Facebook Community – Home Intentionally for more great tips and resources.
I believe in you and I am supporting you!