When I found out I was pregnant with Bella, I had this moment where I thought, Is this it? What if being a mom is all I meant to be? What if this is all I am called to do?
Holy Moly! This struck me to the core! I have always wanted to be a mother, but the idea that this was it was terrifying to me. I have spent so much of my life thinking about my purpose. I have been trying to push all of my gifts into one thing. To find one thing that I would be called to do. The one thing that I would change the world with (yes, we have already discussed that my self talk is pretty big).
I was struggling to be a working mom. When I was at work, I felt like I was abandoning my kid! I felt like I was failing as a mom. I wanted to do all the things that my mom was able to do for us. I wanted to bake cookies, make fresh bread, be there for every moment, and do all the things. These were expectations I was placing on myself and I felt like I was failing. At work, I felt distracted and like I was failing too!
I was pressuring myself to squeeze into this box that I had created for myself. I needed to be this super successful, high functioning employee AND a super mom. I felt guilty I was not a Stay at Home Mom. I felt jealous of the Stay at Home Mom! In my mind, she could do all things that I couldn’t.
I was pressuring myself to fit into a box of what it should feel like to be a working mom and what it should feel like for me to be a mom. These expectations and limitations did not fit me. It was uncomfortable. Because it was not the life I was meant to live, I did not feel aligned and I was not happy. I was not showing up at work well and I was not showing up for my family well.
I needed to restructure my thoughts, my home, and my schedule to determine what working motherhood would look like for me. This was based on my strengths, loves, and opportunities.
Our homes are really sanctuaries meant to support us on our journey. They provide us shelter, a place to have family dinners, a place to learn, a place to relax, etc. This is specific to you. As a family determine how you want your environment to make you feel and how you want that environment to help support you. Ditch the need for perfection and work toward progress. Measure your progress based on how you feel and how your family feels. Are you able to do more of what you love? Are you less stressed?
This was my strength. I am naturally gifted at organizing my environment.
BUT I had not considered working with my husband to understand what works well for him. So, we are all more aligned and it serves all things for my family!
Your mindset has to be strong. Journal. Think about what you love to do. Not what career options are available, but gifts you have. What you enjoy doing.
I love décor. I love setting up a room, I love decorating, I love organizing, and I love supporting people. From this, I am currently working toward a building my own business to support families discover/create a home that supports what you love. I want to help support mothers and families through the challenges of today. To get back to the basics and find joy in simplicity.
We all have gifts. Not one career or label can or will benefit. You will have many purposes. Many talents and gifts. He has given you so much. You are uniquely created. You have so much to offer with how you can use your talents. In every season, you will be given opportunities. You will be given ways to share and grow your gifts. You will also be given ways to strengthen your weaknesses (your opportunities).
There will be challenges and there will be so many opportunities. You will hold many titles, labels, and have many projects in your life. Your journey will be one full of abundance. It is yours.
Do not limit yourself in how you think you should act as a mother. Do not limit yourself in the ways you think you should use your gifts. That focus, that tunnel vision will prevent you from experiencing all that there is. All that is meant for you. It will keep you from your happy.
You are worthy of expressing your gifts and you are needed in this world. Please working hard and be open to all things. Continue to see your worth and try new things. You will never know when it may be your next assignment, your next purpose.